quasar273: (wicked)
[personal profile] quasar273
Ahem. My husband was watching Robot Chicken, so I seem to have become obsessed with bodily functions.

Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis
Title: Culture Shock / Deathly
Pairing: None
Rating: G (kids love this stuff)
Word Count: classic drabbles, 100 words each
Summary: All living things must, uh . . .




The hall is lit with candles on low tables. Seeing another toddler herded away, John wonders why they don't place them higher up. And okay, shoop beans are loaded with proteins and vitamins and antioxidants -- but do they have to cook them into everything?

The headwoman excuses herself, steps over to a corner table and lets out a rolling fart. The candle flames flare and dance wildly.

Rodney's mouth hangs open. Ronon looks blanker than usual.

Teyla explains, "It is considered polite to burn off the smell before it reaches anyone."

John suggests, "Maybe we'll stick with tava beans."






John wrinkles his nose and tries to breathe shallowly. "Hey, buddy, feeling any better?"

Rodney groans piteously, a pillow pressed to his stomach. "The drugs stopped the cramping, and I haven't thrown up since the twelfth time --"

"Thirteenth," Keller corrects, stacking more basins by the bed.

"I can't believe the cooking staff did this to me. I've been so careful for all these years!"

"So, when you said you're 'deathly allergic' to citrus . . ." John prompts.

"I mean, it makes me wish I were dead. Uh-oh. Gangway!" Rodney throws the pillow aside and rushes for the toilet.

Date: 2007-10-22 12:53 am (UTC)
cyanne: (SGA McShep OTP gate)
From: [personal profile] cyanne
Oh, it's really bad how much I enjoyed these. :-)

Date: 2007-10-22 03:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quasar273.livejournal.com
Yeah, it is really bad, but probably worse that I posted them in the first place. I appreciate your enjoyment anyway!

Date: 2007-10-22 02:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] neevebrody.livejournal.com
Well, just consider me a big 'ole kid, 'cause these were great! My son has subjected me to Robot Chicken and Aqua Teen and I must admit, there are times I laugh my ass off. This is the most fun I've had reading about bodily functions in a long time. The second one was especially good.

Date: 2007-10-23 12:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quasar273.livejournal.com
Thanks! I've wanted to do something for a while with Rodney having a different reaction to citrus, but I just couldn't incorporate it into any of my longer stuff.

Date: 2007-10-22 04:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ozsaur.livejournal.com
:::giggles::: I admit it, I'm 7. I love this stuff!

Date: 2007-10-23 12:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quasar273.livejournal.com
Heh-heh. Glad you liked it!

Date: 2007-10-29 03:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thewayne.livejournal.com
It was a pretty disgusting sequence, wasn't it?

LOL!

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